How to Write Catchy Headlines for Your Facebook Ads (with Examples)


Without a great headline, no one’s gonna read your ad. 

As the legendary advertiser David Oglivy  once said:

“If you don’t have a good headline, you might as well put your copy in the drawer.”

It’s the 5 seconds you have to grab someone’s attention in the noise of social media. 

That’s why I wanna show you how we craft ‘scroll-stopper’ headlines. 

We’ll be covering:

        How we use simple wordplay to grab their attention immediately.

        The right way to speak to their pains – – so they look to you for the answer.

        How we play on their beliefs – so they’re intrigued to read more.

        And the common mistakes to avoid – for an outstanding headline.

This and more, in today’s video.

So, if you want a process that’s proven to get results,

Click on the video and watch it now – thank me later when you watch your bank account grow! 

Chat with a marketing consultant

Video Transcript

Hey, guys, this is Terrence here from Radical Marketing. Today, I’d like to show you what we do to craft awesome headlines that actually grab people’s attention and make them want to read the rest of the ad. So let’s get into three example headlines that I want to show you that were from one of my copywriters that I just want to show you some of the ways that we have improved the headline to make it more catchy and to make it more engaging. So let’s hop into the first headline.


So here’s the old headline. The headline that my copywriter came up with is Here’s How Beginners Can Start Profitable Businesses Through Free Expert Mentorship without Being Paralyzed by Fear. Now, this headline is not too bad, right? But the only thing I found when I was reading this headline is that there’s probably a few too many things that this headline is trying to cover. So first of all, yeah, it kind of like the brain. It’s kind of hard to compute so many things. But secondly, is also the fact that this part here without being paralyzed by fear, I’m not sure whether people would actually identify that they are actually paralyzed by fear because they may not be aware or want to admit they are paralyzed by fear.
And the other thing is free expert mentorship. Like why expert mentorship? I don’t know. Maybe just free mentorship would probably be more effective and communicate much better in this case. Right. So here’s the new headline that I came up with, and I feel it’s going to be much better, right? So we communicate the big benefit right at the start of the headline, which is free business mentorship. Right. So if you are an entrepreneur or want to grow a business or start a business, this first three words will capture your attention straightaway. And then the next thing is, we say for future entrepreneurs, entrepreneurs who want to overcome uncertainty and create a profitable business. So instead of saying beginners, I swapped around to say for future entrepreneurs.

Now, that is just a subtle difference that we are speaking to their future selves and they probably will identify better with being a entrepreneur in the future rather than being a beginner. Right. So because something maybe some of them may have even started business before or in their mind, they don’t see themselves as beginners. So we want to speak to the higher self, which is future entrepreneurs here. And the other thing is, I’m saying here to overcome uncertainty rather than saying being paralyzed by fear because they may not recognize they are actually being held back or procrastinating because of fear. So I just want to say it in a nice way, because they feel they are uncertain because they don’t know the steps to take. So I’m just saying, hey, we’re just going to help you overcome uncertainty to and create that profitable business that you’ve always wanted.

So this just a few subtle differences that I feel is gonna get people’s attention more and communicate better and make them want to read the rest of the ad. Right. So this is just headline one. So let’s look at headline two. Headline two is the one season Entrepreneur Reveals his Top Secrets to launch a successful business fast, even without an original idea. Look, I think this is not bad at all. The only thing is that for me, this sounds very common. This is a very, very common way that all this business, business, startup or business people would say things which are words like, yes, he’s an entrepreneur. Yeah, that’s kind of a little less common, but still quite common.

His top secrets, Top secrets is kind of like, yeah, pretty common spell on successful business fast, even without an original idea. So it’s very common to me for me, it doesn’t really grab my attention. So that is the only issue, right? I mean, otherwise the headline seems pretty okay, Like it’s an okay headline, but it’s not outstanding for me. So thank you so much for watching our video. Just a quick interruption to remind you, if you are watching this on YouTube to like and subscribe and check out all our other videos on the channel. And if you’re checking out this video on our blog post, make sure you check out all the other blog posts on our website. So thank you so much. And back to the rest of the video.
For me, this is what I rewrote it to become. It’s like former hacker, right? Which is something unusual, which is really something that stands out in especially in the business space is like what? a former hacker right? that will grab people’s attention. And then I just did a little wordplay here which is review this top hacks Hawk Hacker reviews his top hacks for launching successful businesses fast. That kind of like makes it very intriguing and sticks to the theme of being a hacker. And then I say, instead of saying without having an original idea, it’s like by copying others, right? So that kind of sounds a bit sneaky, right? And just by sounding that a little bit sneaky makes people intrigued by how does this guy copy this? And this guy’s a hacker. So it kind of goes along that grey theme of like, Hey, is this kind of ethical or not kind of thing? Right? So I feel this communicates better than all my top secrets to launch a business kind of thing, which is the original headline, which.

Bear in mind, is not bad at all. All right. But we just want to bring it to the next level by creating this really, really intriguing thing that people will want to read more about. All right. So let’s go into the final headline here quickly. So the headline three here is the old one. Here’s how Malaysians can have a mental hand-holding to start a business without cracking their heads or breaking the bank. Now the concept here is great. The only thing is. There are a lot of big terms, a lot of phrases that require the brain to compute, which I think will lose a lot of readers. Like, first of all, we have mental hand-holding.

Okay, I need to think about, okay, what is that mental hand-holding without cracking their head ? What does cracking a head means, without breaking? So there are so many concepts my brain needs to try and compute to make me kind of understand what this whole thing is saying, which is fine if people have time to think about it. But in the today’s attention deficit society, it’s probably not the best thing. So I think it’s good. The terms, the kind of the concepts are good, the concept is good, but it’s too confusing for the brain. And people would just skim through and scroll across this. So this is what I wrote instead. Right. Father of triplets.
Right. First of all, that grabs attention. How many father of triplets do you know? Right. Seriously, there’s probably I only know one. And it’s this particular person, which is the speaker here. So first of all, that grabs attention, right? Because it’s something unique, right? Reviews new business launch system that helps Malaysians generate a side income fast. Like you can see this kind of communicates what we are saying in the above. Not exactly, but it’s so much clearer and so much simpler. And I straight away, I know that this is the benefit is I’m going to get a side income fast from this. Right. And the other thing to to bear in mind as well, it’s I position it as a new business launch system.

So people’s brains right now, you know, people’s brains are always geared if you understand neuromarketing is to find new things, right. Because new things interest us and old things. We kind of seen it done that before. That kind of interest is less so by having that word new right. I know it’s a little bit cliche, but it does work, right? So people will be like, okay, part of triplets. Wow, that’s really interesting. Grabs attention. New business launch system.
I want to find out a bit more about this because it actually helps me to generate an income fast. And because I live in Malaysia, that kind of appeals to me. Right? So, yeah, those are the few things that little distinction here that makes it clearer than the first headline, which incidentally I don’t think is bad at all, but it just required too much brainpower to compute, right?

So I hope this exercise makes sense to you. And if you like this, a little short video on how we evaluate whether a headline is good. Remember the headlines objective is not to sell, but to actually get people’s attention and to get them to read more. If you like this kind of headline evaluations and copy evaluations that please, please do comment below and so that we can make more of this for you in the future. And bear in mind, this is also for Facebook, right? So there are certain things that we have to write to comply and not to exaggerate too much, not to make claims too hard that could contravene Facebook’s policies.

So bear in mind, that’s why a lot of these headlines are also watered down a little bit. All right. So that yeah, just keep that in mind as well. If it was for email, if it was for newspapers, or do we even read newspapers or for magazines or anything else where there are less restrictions, I would probably write it in a slightly different manner. All right. So I hope this was really enlightening to you. And if you like it once again, please comment below.

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